Different Dangers.

Last night a scenario unraveled in my home that showed me just how far my family has come in the past few months. This morning I'd like to share it with you, my friends.

A woman my husband and I know from our ‘former church’ posted something on Facebook, the post included blurry, zoomed in photos of men in a shoe store and her post went on to say how she felt uncomfortable in the store and how these men were surrounding her and her nieces in the women’s department. The post was warning ladies to be on guard and to pray a hedge of protection around themselves and the daughters they loved wherever they went. At first, the post seemed harmless, but then I read more into it and talked with my husband about how it was not the men in the post making me uncomfortable, but the post itself was, the more red flags went up in my mind and heart.

My husband, daughter and I were at the same mall in the same shoe store earlier that day. We saw the same large group of men wandering the mall. We had also seen the large white “melon farm” bus sitting empty in the parking lot. The group of men shopping were migrant farm workers who, on their day off, were being bussed from shopping center to shopping center to spend their hard earned paychecks.

These ethnic men not only spoke very little English, but they also did hard farm labor and came from an entirely different culture. The comments in the previously mentioned post ranged from people saying all women should carry guns in order to feel safe, racial slurs, prayers of protection and kudos to the poster. (I’m not saying that the comments of prayers or reminders for all people to be alert of their surroundings were bad) but, I am saying there was a lot of mean spirits and anger in those comments when it came to bystanders assuming that different meant bad.

That different equaling bad is where I am going with this entire post so just hold onto that phrase for me. Thanks.

A few comments in the post that stood out and started my conversation with my husband were in defense of the behavior of this group of men. One of those comments became my husband’s. (God bless this man’s soul and his beautiful heart.)

When I showed the original post to my husband we both got angry. He did not get angry because a group of men was following women in the mall, he got angry because he began to worry about the safety of those men and their families. The original post had been shared nearly two thousand times in just a few hours, photos of the men’s faces were circulating facebook with warnings, slurs and assumptions. “Can you imagine being one of their wives and seeing this?”

“What if their children saw this post?” Those are the questions he began to ask.

My normally silent sweetheart chose to comment his defense of these men and point out who they were, why they may appear different and to ask not only the original poster but all of the shares and readers to please stop and consider different people and different cultures.

Like I said, God bless his sweet soul and please grant me more of his babies.

To clarify a few things I am not naïve. I know bad people exist and that bad things can and do happen, however I am not going to walk around a mall fearing that every group of men is actually trying to kidnap me. I am not going to sit in fear or assume that because someone does not have the same cultural understanding, skin tone or language that I do that they deserve to be blasted on Facebook. NO.

What I am going to do (and teach my children of both genders) is to use my powers of observation, faith and strength to be both aware and kind in all situations.

Whether we want to admit it or not, this way of thinking, this way of assuming things about people ( because they are different makes them bad or dangerous to us) is wrong.

It is racist. It is dangerous. It is toxic. It is harmful. It is sin.

Different people from different cultures and backgrounds are not a reason to carry guns, take photos or spread fear. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel uncomfortable there are several safe options for you to take other than slandering an entire group of people on social media. (yes, posting photos and writing your assumptions of their intentions when you had zero physical or verbal contact with anyone is slandering them.)

Seek out employees or security if you feel unsafe.

Exit the place that you are in immediately if you need to.

Call a friend or a family member and chat with them on the phone (it doesn’t have to be about your fear, just keep someone in your ear to secure yourself).

Or, confront the people who make you feel uncomfortable (confront them loudly, kindly, and in a very public way.) Ask them if they need help. Ask them if they are looking for something.

Talk to them, loudly and kindly. There is no need to accuse them of anything.

I say all of this in particular regards to the situation this particular poster was in, not in a more intense or physically dangerous situation. The post I'm confronting today had no actual interaction between the differing parties. No talking, no guns, no assault, just ‘uncomfortable feelings’ which I strongly believe could have been addressed in a much more friendly and Christian way.

I do not think that original poster even intended to be racist. I truly do not.

I do think that the original poster comes from a culture that has instilled and grown fear inside of her. I believe (because my background is almost identical to hers) that she is simply living and doing what she and the culture around her have been taught to do. I think that she has been trained to identify things that are different and label them as dangers.

I think this because I was raised in a similar way to her and I have acted, thought and believed just like she did.

I want to talk about that culture and thought process for just a tiny bit today because after the long conversation I had with my husband last night I have a lot of thoughts and feelings to process. I grew up within a culture that (I’m sure never had the intention of teaching or promoting racism) but inadvertently made me hyper aware of every person that was different than me in any way. There has always been a huge emphasis on the way I look and the appearance of myself and my mannerism.

It has been taught from birth that the way I look, act, and carry myself are my calling cards to the world at large. I was told that when I step out into a public place that people would see the way I was dressed (in my modest skirt with my long hair) and they would instantly know that I was a devoted Christian. In this way, I was taught to ‘be a light’. I was instructed to fit into a certain category in the way I dressed, acted and appeared in order to be a witness without opening my mouth once.

This thought process may sound like a good thing, but I have learned that it has had some very dangerous side-effects.

Because I have always been so hyper-aware of how I appear I have also always been hyper-aware of how others appear. When I am in the store shopping for groceries I notice people. I find myself not only noticing things about total strangers, but I use the things I see to build my assumptions about them. (Remember, I have been taught that this is what people do when they see me.) When I see someone in Walmart in their PJs I make assumptions based on how I feel when I dress in my jammies (Ei. lazy, slobby, unmotivated). When I see someone covered in piercings and heavy, black clothing my mind begins to assume that they are the opposite of a redeemed Christian. When I see a large group of ethnic men I begin to assume that they are like the child-traffickers constantly portrayed on the news.

When I see anything or anyone that looks different from me and the culture that I have been inside of my entire life I begin to identify them as different and then assume that they are wrong or bad because they look and may believe differently than me. Can you see how incredibly dangerous and harmful this way of thinking is?

Let’s just add another disclaimer here in the case that anyone reading this thinks that I am attacking the culture I grew up in, churches, religions, anyone who dresses modestly or any woman who ever feels uncomfortable in a store in this post. Heck No, I am not. I am not saying that anyone else in the entire world does this terrible assumption and identification ritual that I do. I am only pointing fingers at myself and identifying the background that I picked up this terrible habit from.

What I am doing is wrong.

It is horrible for me to judge anyone based on what I see. The surface of a person (the image they portray) can lie, disguise, bend and change daily. Anyone can put on a uniform and try to look a part. Any person can dress like a police officer or doctor but the way they appear does not make them a licensed professional, skilled, genuine or sworn to serve and protect. WE MUST go beyond what we see on the outside and take a few moments with those glorious powers of observation that God has given us before we make any judgments on any kind of person.

We cannot assume someone is good or bad based on how they look. There are homeless, unshaven men who would risk everything to save a cat in the street. There are clean-cut ministers in suits behind pulpits that use their powers to manipulate, control and belittle people. We cannot assume that because a woman wears pants that she is a lesbian, feminist, homewrecker or in rebellion against God. We cannot assume because someone has darkly dyed hair, eye makeup, all black clothing or a sullen face that they are gothic, worship Satan, want to commit crimes or any other kind of far fetched idea.

Do you get my point? We cannot assume that just because someone or something appears different that it is inherently wrong, bad, evil or going to hurt us. It is so hard to do, I know.

But, it is so dangerous and so wrong.

No, I’m not saying there is nothing bad in the world.

No, I’m not saying that some things are not inherently bad or evil.

There is bad and there is evil in this world. But, different does not equal danger.

When we assume that we know which "different" is dangerous just by appearance alone (no research, no reading, no investigation and no prayer) then we are the ones causing danger.

The post that started this entire conversation was shared thousands of times in only a few hours and could very easily put those innocent men at risk. If those men happened to be at another store and someone made assumptions about their intentions and took action based off of those assumptions they saw on Facebook a lot of people could be in very serious danger. Imagine if you were a gun carrying woman who just saw the faces of these men in a post your sister shared with you and then saw them walking towards the shoe section of Kohls. Would you panic? Would you scream? Would you take action?

Would you stop to assess you own situation? Would you believe someone else's uncomfortable feelings?

We serve a wonderful and all powerful God who has given believers His Holy Spirit. That Spirit of God lives and dwells within each one of us. We are not only equipped with but empowered by the Holy Spirit in every aspect of our lives.

Not only do we not have to live in fear, but we also can use the beautiful, powerful voices that we have to stand up when we see injustice happening in our world. We can possess the fruits of the Spirit (self control, love, peace, kindness) and cloth ourselves in the Armor of God:

“Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Ephesians 6:10-17 (KJV)

Friends, Different does not automatically mean that it is dangerous.

I’m coming to a close (All my fellow former Pentecostal will catch that pun) but, I do believe that racism is very real and is bred in organizations and cultures where so much emphasis is put on how we present ourselves. I do not believe in any way that racism is intentionally taught or focused on, however it is there. It is there and it is growing and we need to be very aware of how we are identifying and classifying people.

God made each and every human in His own Image. That alone should be enough.

If you’ve been around the blog for any amount of time, you know I hate the “better safe than sorry” argument however; I would much rather die at the hands of evil for trusting in God and seeing the good in mankind then to be blasting racist, homophobic, transphobic or any other kind of descrimination on social media without apology when I had several additional observations and facts presented to me.

In the words of Veggie Tales: “God made you special and He loves you very much”, that does not just go for you, but it goes for everyone in the Galaxy.